Our Ukranian visitors are still with us, but it seems that they are planning to move on to Canada in the near future. Or at least we have been asked to take Mum to London for an appointment at the Canadian High Commission. I did a bit of research to make sure it wasn't going to be a wasted trip (as it's a long drive from Elenderil Towers) and it seems that appointments are only issued if an application to travel to Canada has been made. So, it seems that it's being seriously considered. Mum hadn't told us that she was making plans to move on and only last week was asking the local council about housing grants. It actually makes a lot of sense as her adult son has either just moved there with his job or is about to move there.
This lack of sharing information has been a common theme for the time she has been with us. We get told what she thinks we need to know. From what I have read this is common as Ukrainians are very private people. Still, it would be nice to have a bit more warning other than a Thursday evening chat on the lines of:
"I need you to take me to London on Monday"
"Really, why is that?"
" I must go to the embassy for a visa, I have an appointment at 12:45"
Being charitable I'm going to assume that she has no idea about how long it will take to drive from Humberside to Outer London and then travel onwards by tube to Charing Cross (I'm not going into Central London by car what with congestion charges and parking costs). Things are not helped by the fact that we are never sure that she understands the processes and procedures for these things. I would also need a second person to travel with me and Mrs E can't do so on Monday.
Another interesting thing we have learned about Ukrainian culture is that they are loud and sound aggressive when having even a friendly conversation. Even her nine-year-old son is like that, shouts of Nyet when he doesn't like what mum is saying at a volume that would have me reaching for earplugs if I was in the room with him!
There is also an interesting view on rules! Apparently, we have far too many rules on things like medicines and medical appointments, driving rules, schools, road safety... the list goes on. In Ukraine there is always a way around the rules we have been told (Which seems to be code for 'a way for me to get what I want straight away or not be stopped from doing what I want'). An example being that her son was recently prescribed antibiotics for a chest infection. The British ones were not strong enough, so she was going to take those for her cough and buy a new supply from Ukraine for her son. It came as a bit of shock to be told that unapproved medicines were unlikely to get through customs!
Talk about different strokes for different folks!
That all sounds hard work. Kudos for sticking with it.
ReplyDeleteI remember something similar to that loudness the first time I went to Israel. In a meeting with Israeli colleagues and an external company, we were all struggling a bit to make sure we were understanding each other in English. Then a colleague suggested he and the external people talked through an issue in Hebrew before translating back into English. OK. Off they went and the conversation became quite heated and loud. I thought ‘my God this is falling apart, the relationship is ruined’. When they’d finished my colleague quietly explained what was discussed and how everyone agreed (to smiling nods of the head from the external guys).
Chris/Nundanket
You are doing a very good deed, that's the main thing. Your guests have come from a nightmare situation, so I guess their reactions and emotions may be pretty messed up. Best wishes to all of you, therefore!
ReplyDeleteFunny how people are very different, and also people are very much the same..
It also makes me wonder if Bruce Quarrie was right after all with his 'national characteristics'? 😀
Compared to a number of stories we hear about some of the guests ours are no trouble at all. You just have to be on your toes and ready to be firm with them, and when I say firm I mean almost rude as that is their way.
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